Karen's got me all confused again. There's me extolling the virtues of the brunette Escort, me sitting down in the pub with the boys and boring them to death about how I believe the most beautiful girls have that dark, mysterious, Latin look...whether it be Spanish or South American or French. Then along comes a delicious blonde like Karen and I'm blown away by her, my argument is in tatters (much to Rob's feckin amusement) and I'm behaving like a teenage boy at his first mixed dance night.

As I try desperately to get my head straight and explain myself, I’d say I can make a distinction here...between love and lust. Yes that old excuse that so many boyfriends and husbands drag out when they're caught with their pants down. Yes that's the answer...I love Latin girls...the look of Evelina, the passion of Molly or the sweetness of Anka. I'd happily marry Molly and spend the rest of my days trying to make her happy. (Molly please say yes)

With Karen, for me, it’s pure lust. She is one of the sexiest girls I can remember seeing. There are some girls that just get an instant reaction, that primeval caveman urge to propagate the species. I just want to take her by the hand and drag her to off to the nearest enclosed space..The stationary cupboard, the disabled toilet, the garden shed or the back of my car. I don't want to spend time getting to know her over pre theatre drinks. There's no time to linger over lunch or dinner in the OXO tower or exhaust myself taking her dancing. There's only one thing I want to do with Karen and I just need her consent and a broom cupboard big enough.

But of course, that's just me...it's not you. Karen is beautiful as well as being sexy and I'm not saying for one minute that the scenario I painted is gonna happen. Karen deserves much better than that, with a couple of heaped spoonfuls of respect stirred in. I'm just trying to make sense of how I feel about her but I know that to you guys, she's someone you will want to take time to get to know and that she is well worth the time spent on that romantic dinner for two or an evening’s clubbing. It's just me, it's me...it's not you guys, you got the right idea.

Glad we sorted THAT out